Walk away

I wrote this some time back...still feel the same so thought I'll post it

I am very weird when it comes to relationships. Whether they involve family, friends or someone special, I've always been awkward when it comes to sharing what I really think. Maybe its the introvert in me but out of what I've read about introverts they don't generally share their feelings. Me? I take it to another level and show people who I care about the most that I really don't care about them
Complicated you may say? Of course! It drives me nuts! I cannot under any circumstance tell anyone if I think of them fondly or what they mean to me.In fact I am so awkward I do the strangest things to drive people away. And then I moan and moan and moan.
Why can't I keep things simple and straightforward? Is it that I'm scared of people disliking me? Am I insecure of losing people who I consider close to me? Or am I so scared of hurting my feelings that I feel the need to put on a I don't care exterior to protect myself?
I need to figure this out...

I'm Alive!

It's a good thing writing a blog like mine, which nobody reads. No one really misses you when you are away for that long.. Other than my darling Z who religiously reads and urges me to write more often. Also, PP! I'm back for you too..
Anyway, so it's been more than a year I think since I wrote last and very surprisingly not much has changed. I've changed jobs which keeps me busy but other than that I didn't write earlier cause I had nothing major to share or write about. I still don't to be honest.
Life has been pretty much the routine, contrary to the very false belief that people have about me having some high flying traveling job, which I don't get. I mean if I check-in to Trivandrum airport or Nagpur airport on facebook and people go "oooh so lucky" I judge them. Haha! Seriously? If going to Trivandrum is the sole purpose of your life, buy a ticket and go there! I once even got the "oh I love your job cause you visit different hotel beds daily" Little do they know that thanks to my really bad back owing to all these hotel beds, I've had nights where I've had to sleep on the hard wooden floor of these fancy hotels!
Obviously you see the good stuff on Facebook, you see people going on holidays, honeymoons, check-in to the best hotels, theme parks wherever! But you can't judge or be jealous of their life only thanks to where they check-in on facebook or through their pictures! What do you know whats going on beyond? No one
(at least I hope not many people I know) will check in to the Family court saying- "Just got divorced" or put up a picture of themselves crying after a bad break up! So stop judging and start living. Stop caring about how someone got somewhere and put in effort to get somewhere yourself. If you want to travel, work, save money, buy a ticket and get there. You want a bikini body, stop eating and start working out. It's as simple as that.
Envy is not the answer to your problems. Hardwork is!