No name, until I think of one. Suggestions welcome

Disclaimer- Nosy aunts it's only fiction. Don't get ideas

There are so many things I want to say,

So many things I want to do,

But life seems so empty,

After I left the sight of you.

I miss those long walks together,

Hearing the pitter patter of the rain.

The weather, the trees and the breeze,

Life is somehow just not the same.

Come back to me as I wait for you,

Days, months, years have flown past.

There’s a lot I need to reminisce with you

About time, our time that passed us by.

My one year job-versary

Had to make a note of it. I completed a whole year working where I am today. Not that this is my first job, but yes it is the first job where I do real work. If I reflect on the past year gone by its been regular with its share of ups, downs, boss tantrums, incentives, lots of travel, colleagues- good, bad and insignificant. But overall it's been a good experience if I look at it from a broad perspective.
I don't like sharing about my work too much so I'll keep this short.
Here's to me and my one year job-versary

If I make it here...I'll make it anywhere..It's up to you

I know that my posts of late must have already convinced you that I am just a confused individual who has no clue where she is headed in life. Haha! well that may be my current state of mind but mind you I've not always been this confused person.
I have an independent mind which is hardly ever influenced by the decision of others. My family who I love dearly have always respected and encouraged me to think on my own as an individual. Like every other human I have plans. I think about stuff. Most of the time, things don't go as planned, but hey! that doesn't stop me from thinking, dreaming and planning and that shouldn't stop you either!
Travel is a passion. I'm obsessed with traveling to new places. Before I began my job which allowed me to travel so frequently, I traveled quite a bit but only with family. I have always craved to just go for one nice big crazy holiday with my friends but that has never materialized mostly for two reasons. When they were ready a few years ago to take this plunge, I wasn't (you know the daddy's little girl, you're too young) bit..and now when I am ready finally..they have other priorities (personal commitments, professional and sometimes even both). I hope it happens soon or I'll have to start looking out for travel buddies now :)
Coming back to planning, let me share with you some personal stuff I have planned for the longest time. It's funny and weird and you probably think I'm crazy but I figure if I write it down maybe I'll reminisce about this in my old age. (If I don't end up deleting my blog like I usually do ie)
Ok lets see, some past planning included me wanting to study journalism forever. I still remember making up my mind about this in class 5 and sticking to it until post graduation. It's a different issue that once I started working as a journalist there was an immediate job change:). As mentioned plan, but don't be sure your plans will work as you want them to.
I'm not sure if I should mention the next one. Hmm ok since I'm being honest, I've already picked the names of my children, if I have any, especially my son. Let me tell you the story behind these names. When I was very very little Yash Chopra had released a movie for television. Yeah it was never screened in the cinemas it was meant to be tele-film and the hero of that film was named Kabir. Obviously I had the hots for Mr Kabir and then and there made up my mind to name my son (if I have one) Kabir. By the way this Kabir ultimately went out to be Mr Aashish Chowdry (He does a few films now, and I DO NOT find him hot now...I was a kid then).Everyone I know detest my decision but I'm pretty adamant on this one, lets see what happens. My daughter (again if I have one..gosh do I have to keep specifying that time and again) will be named Sara, for the Sara I know is the baby I love the most.
Can't believe I just shared the above.
Ok next personal planning. I've picked Australia and New Zealand as my honeymoon destination, single handedly, if I do decide to get married :-P. (again since forever)
I've always wanted to live in London
Sssshsh..I need to stop typing!! Ok no more personal stuff
Talking of destinations, I am obessessive about visiting America especially New York. I have been to a lot of places around the world but no destination/country has intrigued my interest as much as America. I've made multiple attempts to visit the destination but somehow things have never worked out, latest reason being the lack of company to go. It seems magicial, vast, fast paced(just as I like it) and I really really want to go to America this year. I hope things work in my favour. I know I sound like those gujju aunties, I know America with its flaws, minus points, problems too but I just want to visit.
New York I assume is a lot like Bombay, Fast paced, vibrant, never sleep sort of a city. In the words of Frank Sinatra.. If I make it there, I'll make it anywhere, It's up to you..New York, New York.
Lets see where life takes me and if my dreams materialize. I hope you'll keep coming back until then...

Clarity of thought

It's ironic how every single time I begin to write a blog post I have no idea where I'm headed. As I was reading my previous posts I realized that I have been ranting and complaining way too much off late. However I am over that phase now and have rather successfully disassociated myself from those situations that left me troubled. At least for the time being.
I am just back from Belgium and this time I am convinced that I could move there. As usual I watched the mushy, corny, romantic movies (the one's I'd never admit I watch) and also did a lot of thinking on my way to and from Belgium.
We have dreams..I certainly do, but I've realized that I'm not doing much to accomplish them. I think it's the fright of breaking the routine, the insecurity of taking a chance that creeps into me. The question of stability (practicality) versus something you really want to do even letting go of a steady income frightens me.
Is it because I don't know what is it that I really want to do? Or is it that I am confused as to what if I really want something else out of life tomorrow.
Friends, colleagues, cousins- their line of thinking seems clear, even if they may pretend otherwise. They know what they want- Professionally or even otherwise. For them it's either black or white
As far as I am concerned. I see Grey. I weigh pros and cons, a practical approach versus an emotional one. Stability versus creativity. Family versus career even soap versus facewash!
Do I think too much? Do I give this process too much thought than it really requires. Maybe! cause even after so much thinking I often take the wrong decision anyway.
As mentioned earlier I'm not quite sure if I'm headed somewhere with this post or is it just another rant. Gosh! you must think I'm a complex person if you've been reading my blog regularly.
Don't worry. I'm not! It's not me just the world and the people that make this world that are so complex.
As for my thoughts, I'll try and keep them simple

Quick Update

Yes, agreed, I have to shake off my blogging inertia, but life has been moving at such an unbelievable pace that it's almost become impossible to keep up. Traveling has been on the forefront whether it is work or short haul holidays and will continue to keep me busy all month.
I have to work really hard rest of May, weekends, late nights and the works but I just hope it pays off with a successful event in June. I'm obsessing soo much about this that it's all I think about. Afraid of failure you may think? I agree
Ok I'm going to come back with more but as of now travel back to Belgium (I wish I had company in Bruges, it's so lovely but quite boring by yourself), w's birthday next Sunday and lots of work to do.
Which reminds me, while in Nashik a really funny incident occured with me. This man randomly came upto me and started telling me stuff about my personality, my name initial, what I do, my likes and dislikes. Eerie! but true, I have to write in detail about my experience with this chap. And if I have to go by any of his predictions, my life is going to rock ;)
More later! keep coming back
ps: I have to also write a post on my virtual life

Give up mode

It's a horrible feeling to be misinterpreted by someone who you think close to you even if it is to someone who you don't really care about. I'm really mad right now. If I tell you something I truly believe is correct or good for you, it will only be if

• You really tricked me into believing that my advice is all you depend on
• I feel sorry at your pitiful state
• I really am fond of you as a person

I never give advice or share stuff with people I am not close to. If I did, I truly believed that you were a friend that would not use me as a third party reference to your non idealist situation. Let people form their own opinions. Time and again you have referred to me as someone I am not. Not in the least.
Apparently you find it some way of a conversation starter or so it seems. I see you enjoy your popularity in this oh-so-little-different world you have created around you, and I'm happy for you. I really am.
Just wish you didn't use me as your scapegoat. I've forgotten the past, will forget the present too. But I can for see what your plan of action for the future and it doesn't look good for me.
But as a lot of other things in life, I will learn. Learn to ignore, disassociate and detach myself from you and people who believe what you say.
Till then..I'm really mad right now...really mad

...and then

Lame attempt. Would appreciate your true comments.
Disclaimer *Pure Fiction*

Passing Thoughts, a confused mind,
Wondering what to do next,
Dreams galore and far fetched goals,
God! How I want this time to end.
Tricky treats, candy floss,
Wish life was full of these,
But in this quest to have it all,
I've skipped things that put me at ease.
Until I met you, my ray of hope,
You showed me the light in life.
The right to achieve, the path by which,
Life now just seems a wonderful surprise.