Another year goes by…

I turned a whole 25 years and one month yesterday. This birthday was really special as I had been discharged from the ICU and was on the way to recovery at home. I didn’t do much this year. Dinner with parents 20^th September, lunch the next day on the real birthday and the usual chilling with friends, cutting cakes, opening gifts etc.

I remember writing a similar post on my birthday last year where I felt that the excitement was diminishing as the years go by. But I find hard to lower my expectations, especially from people who are really close to me (Very few of em!). Is it because I feel I do a lot for them and expect the same in return? I’m not sure.

From something as small as expressing great displeasure when I opened mom’s gift (which was x) only because I expected a y! I have this feeling that I get extremely selfish and demanding on my birthday (unlike the other 364 days where I am absolutely the opposite) of late.

I don’t know what phase of life this is, but I am extremely unsure of the choices I make. Personally, professionally, sometimes I really don’t know what I want. I try to think practically, try to see what is best for me but that does not necessarily work in my favour. What helps me go through this phase though is a lot of people who are absolutely in the same stage of life where I am today. But when I discussed my thoughts with them, we always concluded that this stage of life would also be a phase like the others and would eventually pass away.

But that hasn’t happened. Yet! What do we think? How do we decide? Why should we plan? Why does my mind have to take so many decisions? She is only that little after all.

I think I’m getting older and somewhere I don’t want to accept that. In one way, I love the fact that I am financially independent, I can walk into the store and buy anything I like without having to take an elder’s permission or at least think about if not execute a trip to Goa with only my friendsJ, but on the other hand I think I still want to be that daddy’s little girl or mom’s (best baby in the universe, as she puts it) and have them look out for me.

I don’t know what this state of confusion is, but everything is very hazy at the moment. I will update soon once the fog diminishes.

Until then I leave you with happy and yummy cake pictures I cut on my birthday. Take care!