Its been so long since I last wrote. Honestly, I didn't have anything worthy to write about. Life has been pretty much the same old routine. As I flipped the calendar page today (yes, I was a little late to do so) it suddenly dawned unto me that half the year is already over and I haven't done a single thing I had planned to.
From little things like piercing my nose to some bigger changes I intended to make in 2011, I haven't even made the slightest attempt to achieve. I sometimes wonder if it is correct to get your mind so occupied with your work that even in your free time all you think about is work. There has to be a switch off button that I can use the minute I step out of my work place. My phone adds to my misery by constantly reminding me of things to do at work and sometimes I actually have to make an attempt to turn it off the entire weekend just to get my mind out of thinking about my task lists.
I need to prioritize. I need a sense of direction. Something I have to work on myself. I realize that everyday I want new things completely different from the ones I wanted the day before. I take advice from a chosen few who luckily always listen to my rants and tell me what they think is correct but ultimately it is me who has to take that decision.
Why am I so afraid to speak what I feel? Why is it that I am unable to tell someone what I really think of them? Why am I always so worried about the other persons feelings that I fail to think about myself? No one really thinks before telling me how they feel right! So why do I think things over and over again till they reach a point where it doesn't really matter cause it becomes a thing of the past. Why do I pretend to not care when I so totally do!
I wonder how my association with people other than my trusted few will continue in the coming years. I can't tell them I love them. I can't tell them I hate them. So its going to get really really difficult to start understanding me if I don't get my act together pretty soon.
Just like a perfectly organized Virgo,I think I am going to begin my writing down my wants and prioritizing them. Once I figure what I really want, at least I can begin work on the first few points.
Lately people close to me felt I was sharing too much of my real life online. Through twitter, facebook, foursquare etc. I thought about it and felt like I agree and hence I've temporarily deleted my twitter and foursquare account. Twitter was also becoming a platform for people to be experts on any subject of their choice and start giving gyan which had begun to bore me. I think I like learning from my own mistakes as against listening to lectures from a few uncalled for experts. Foursquare was actually quite fun but then again sharing some of my feeds on twitter lead to some disastrous encounters :) (Well almost). Facebook is something I haven't been able to detach myself from yet, I really seem to enjoy it so I think I'm going to stay on there for a while.
Mehra constantly talks to me about detachment. Gone in an instant, snap your fingers and its over. Not sure if I can practice with so much ease, even if I pretend to otherwise. I get emotionally attached. to things, people, places, the worst part being that the people involved have no idea and guess they never will. Sigh!
Anyway, moving to happier things looking forward to Delhi Belly this week (now that I have finally understood the lyrics to most of their songs). Spaghetti Kitchen opens its doors 5 minutes away from home. Oh the joy in little things!
From little things like piercing my nose to some bigger changes I intended to make in 2011, I haven't even made the slightest attempt to achieve. I sometimes wonder if it is correct to get your mind so occupied with your work that even in your free time all you think about is work. There has to be a switch off button that I can use the minute I step out of my work place. My phone adds to my misery by constantly reminding me of things to do at work and sometimes I actually have to make an attempt to turn it off the entire weekend just to get my mind out of thinking about my task lists.
I need to prioritize. I need a sense of direction. Something I have to work on myself. I realize that everyday I want new things completely different from the ones I wanted the day before. I take advice from a chosen few who luckily always listen to my rants and tell me what they think is correct but ultimately it is me who has to take that decision.
Why am I so afraid to speak what I feel? Why is it that I am unable to tell someone what I really think of them? Why am I always so worried about the other persons feelings that I fail to think about myself? No one really thinks before telling me how they feel right! So why do I think things over and over again till they reach a point where it doesn't really matter cause it becomes a thing of the past. Why do I pretend to not care when I so totally do!
I wonder how my association with people other than my trusted few will continue in the coming years. I can't tell them I love them. I can't tell them I hate them. So its going to get really really difficult to start understanding me if I don't get my act together pretty soon.
Just like a perfectly organized Virgo,I think I am going to begin my writing down my wants and prioritizing them. Once I figure what I really want, at least I can begin work on the first few points.
Lately people close to me felt I was sharing too much of my real life online. Through twitter, facebook, foursquare etc. I thought about it and felt like I agree and hence I've temporarily deleted my twitter and foursquare account. Twitter was also becoming a platform for people to be experts on any subject of their choice and start giving gyan which had begun to bore me. I think I like learning from my own mistakes as against listening to lectures from a few uncalled for experts. Foursquare was actually quite fun but then again sharing some of my feeds on twitter lead to some disastrous encounters :) (Well almost). Facebook is something I haven't been able to detach myself from yet, I really seem to enjoy it so I think I'm going to stay on there for a while.
Mehra constantly talks to me about detachment. Gone in an instant, snap your fingers and its over. Not sure if I can practice with so much ease, even if I pretend to otherwise. I get emotionally attached. to things, people, places, the worst part being that the people involved have no idea and guess they never will. Sigh!
Anyway, moving to happier things looking forward to Delhi Belly this week (now that I have finally understood the lyrics to most of their songs). Spaghetti Kitchen opens its doors 5 minutes away from home. Oh the joy in little things!
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