Turning 37

 Oh my God! How old does that sound? I literally never imagined being 37. Honestly, I don't feel a day older than 21 and I highly doubt I look that old either (until someone calls me aunty and then I suddenly feel like a 100 haha). I may act dramatic at times just for effect but age has never affected me really and I hardly ever think about turning a certain age. I've always lived my life on my own terms and never pressurized myself to do anything including get married only because I was turning a certain year old. 

Anyway, it was really nice to be able to meet people this year in person and actually step out and do things as against last year where I literally waved to friends only from my window and was so exhausted sanitizing every cake or gift that I received. My best friends as usual (the sneaky creative geniuses) brought out their best work to surprise me in various ways throughout the week. I was actually supposed to be in Leh for my birthday but that fizzled out at the last moment. This is literally my 4th cancellation to a Leh holiday and now I have promised myself to not make an active plan to visit. When it happens, if it happens, it will. A similar thing had happened to me in the past while booking a trip to Amritsar. So many cancellations ( and I am suddenly reminded that I still have to pay my friend for the Delhi-Amritsar train tickets from 7 years ago haha) but then when I stopped trying I actually visited twice in a year. I guess there is a time and place for everything so I am just going to wait for Leh to call me :)

I think one of my most favourite things about life is birthday cake. It could be anybody's. I remember once we were at Big Nasty (Bombay people will identify) and a girl walked in celebrating her bachelorette and her cake looked so good that all of us joined her celebrations just to eat that chocolate cake. This year a lot of effort was put into my cakes, I think I had mentioned once how good a pistachio and chocolate cake would taste and my friend baked me a 4 KG cake with which we fed the whole community I think haha. I also always wanted to try the naked chocolate cake from Tiernom, a patisserie that literally refuses delivery so another friend actually travelled all the way  to bring me that cake and oh my God I cannot even describe how yummy it was. Of course my Mom knows the way to my heart is always mint, so she got me the most amazing mint and chocolate cake ever! I'll add some pictures to this post later. Of course I am still burning all those cake calories even a month later! 

Anyway all the yumminess aside 37 also switched a button inside me. All my life I have always found my happiness in doing things for others. Not telling them if I am upset with them, not telling them if I love them, always being their punching bag and most often finding my joy while being useful to someone else. I don't want to do that any more and I have been consciously trying my best not to do so. I used to hang onto relationships (not necessarily only love) for eons until they literally had nothing left in them but after some effort I have cut off all these unnecessary strings out of my life. I don't know if that makes me happier because I am so used to constantly planning something for someone but I do feel like I am thinking way more clearly. 

37 is going to be where I finally lay focus on me. My joy, my happiness, my purpose, my struggles and so on and so forth. Selfish you say? High time I think!