Are you a believer?

Today while walking on the Carter Road promenade listening to my favourite U2 I came across some graffiti. Amidst all the mess the local boy clubs were trying to make with the spray paint I came across something written in bold black letters "It's all written" I can't help but think if we really have a purpose in this world or are we playing a role that someone somewhere has already written for us.
It explains a lot doesn't it? Destiny is quite a convenient option or an easy answer  to solving a problem. Can't get something done? Blame it on destiny. Better still come up with the whole "ultimately it's destined but you have the power to alter your destiny" Really? I don't know if it's the cynic in me typing but I don't think we are destined to do anything. I'm not sure if my role in this life is already written by someone else and if I'm only playing the part I'm supposed to be playing. I don't think people walk in or out of my life because they are destined to. I'm sure I have at least a little to do with it. Or maybe I haven't understood the concept of destiny correctly and hence I'm so cynical about it.
I guess all I'm trying to say is let's take onus of our actions, learn from our mistakes,try to rectify messed
up situations and stop waiting for "something" to happen cause trust me, nothing will and all you'll do is sigh and say "what can I do? It was not in my destiny"!
Ps: written on my phone in a moving vehicle. Excuse the grammatical errors

Walk away

I wrote this some time back...still feel the same so thought I'll post it

I am very weird when it comes to relationships. Whether they involve family, friends or someone special, I've always been awkward when it comes to sharing what I really think. Maybe its the introvert in me but out of what I've read about introverts they don't generally share their feelings. Me? I take it to another level and show people who I care about the most that I really don't care about them
Complicated you may say? Of course! It drives me nuts! I cannot under any circumstance tell anyone if I think of them fondly or what they mean to me.In fact I am so awkward I do the strangest things to drive people away. And then I moan and moan and moan.
Why can't I keep things simple and straightforward? Is it that I'm scared of people disliking me? Am I insecure of losing people who I consider close to me? Or am I so scared of hurting my feelings that I feel the need to put on a I don't care exterior to protect myself?
I need to figure this out...

I'm Alive!

It's a good thing writing a blog like mine, which nobody reads. No one really misses you when you are away for that long.. Other than my darling Z who religiously reads and urges me to write more often. Also, PP! I'm back for you too..
Anyway, so it's been more than a year I think since I wrote last and very surprisingly not much has changed. I've changed jobs which keeps me busy but other than that I didn't write earlier cause I had nothing major to share or write about. I still don't to be honest.
Life has been pretty much the routine, contrary to the very false belief that people have about me having some high flying traveling job, which I don't get. I mean if I check-in to Trivandrum airport or Nagpur airport on facebook and people go "oooh so lucky" I judge them. Haha! Seriously? If going to Trivandrum is the sole purpose of your life, buy a ticket and go there! I once even got the "oh I love your job cause you visit different hotel beds daily" Little do they know that thanks to my really bad back owing to all these hotel beds, I've had nights where I've had to sleep on the hard wooden floor of these fancy hotels!
Obviously you see the good stuff on Facebook, you see people going on holidays, honeymoons, check-in to the best hotels, theme parks wherever! But you can't judge or be jealous of their life only thanks to where they check-in on facebook or through their pictures! What do you know whats going on beyond? No one
(at least I hope not many people I know) will check in to the Family court saying- "Just got divorced" or put up a picture of themselves crying after a bad break up! So stop judging and start living. Stop caring about how someone got somewhere and put in effort to get somewhere yourself. If you want to travel, work, save money, buy a ticket and get there. You want a bikini body, stop eating and start working out. It's as simple as that.
Envy is not the answer to your problems. Hardwork is!

Decisions

I wish there was some device where I could feed in information and would automatically take a decision for me.I absolutely hate taking decisions. I have prolonged matters for as long as I could and hence lost out on a lot of things in numerous situations. And yet magically life always puts me or I guess all of us at some point into situations where we have to take life changing decisions time and again. Will they work? Won't they? Only time can tell.
I entered a world. A whole new world which was completely different from where I came from. It was large. It was beautiful. I met so many people. They became friends. Good friends. I learnt new things, got tremendous support and was encouraged to always try new things.
Yet however a time has come again in my life where I have to move on to something new. Will I miss that world that I called mine? Of course! But am I ready to give my life another chance to start a whole new chapter? I think I am...
Good or bad, only time can tell.
But that doesn't mean we don't try does it?

Time of Our Lives

Just want to tell you all that I love you guys! Dedicated to our friendship and only hope it gets stronger!..Muah

One day at a time

A note I wrote on facebook

The last time I tried to write this, facebook played villain and the whole note got deleted. Here's attempt 2. Nothing much to say really but its just been pretty long since I rambled something. I've always been into planning. Been an advance planner of sorts. Sometimes over planned. Like at 18 I knew what I wanted to name my children, that type of hilarious planning. Mom thought I was plain crazy while some friends blamed the typical Virgo meticulous planning syndrome raised to the power of infinity. However, as life plays its beautiful games with us all the time almost every plan that I thought I had figured completely backfired and I ended up with something totally different than what had been planned.
Not a shocker for many of you I'm certain. Life's like that! People told me to stop planning. Make a conscious effort to not think of how you want a particular situation to evolve, go with the flow, blah..blah..blah. But, come to think of it isn't making a conscious effort to not plan also a type of planning?
I had a plan, graduate at 21, complete PG by 23, start working with a newspaper for a couple of years, meet Mr Right (oh that illusion!! calls for a whole other note doesn't it ;)) have kids and life will be sorted by 30. So I graduated by 21 luckily haha, even completed post grad and secured a job with a leading newspaper in Mumbai. However, what do you do when on the first day of your first job within the first hour you realize that this is not where you want to be at all! This job that I had planned to get for x amount of years lasted as long as my tenure in the company. All of 8 hours!
You obviously don't have a back up! Like advance planning wasn't bad enough you actually expect me to have an advance back up plan? What do you do? It's simple really. You start all over again. It's difficult but you figure it out, it hurts but you learn to deal with the pain, you're alone but at least you are searching for something that will lead you to your inner peace which ultimately is the only thing that should matter
Start afresh, start step by step, don't regret and start one day at a time..

I love you Moombai!

Dear Bombay (As I know it),

I love you! I mean how can I not? You are my birthplace, the city that gave us place to live generations ago when my forefathers left my so called homeland in search for other opportunities I presume. You are the city I have grown up in, the only I have known as home. You are like that anchor that I come back to after days and weeks of living in foreign lands. At 28, I can safely say that I have seen my fair share of the world but no city in the world gives me that sense of comfort like you do. That's cause I know you. I know I belong to you. I always have and somewhere always will.
You have your flaws. Sure you do! People have deteriorated you over the years. They dirty your coast, your roads, pollute you and are too corrupt to even try and help you grow. But then every city has their share of flaws don't they? and how can I blame you for something that people have done to you? I still love you.I still argue in your support be it with fellow Indians or foreigners. I particularly hate it when foreigners criticize you. I get very defensive even though they have valid arguments. I guess I'm possessive and would react the same way if anyone spoke about anything I loved as much as I love you.
I also feel that some people get very judgmental and quickly form a negative opinion about you without even really getting to you what you're all about. I wish they gave me a chance to change their opinion.
Anyway leaving the others and coming back to me, you are my city of firsts. My first crush, my first love, my first heartbreak, my first friend, first job, and so many more. I have so many memories attached to you. Playing in the waters of Juhu Beach, riding the horse carriage at Gateway of India, drinking my first beer at Leopold, the first local train ride to Jai Hind College, my first visit to a nightclub (Remember Scottish Arms?), the first time I got ragged in college (had to propose to the South Indian dosa guy in Hindi) amongst others that if I start typing them down will fill countless pages.
I only wish I was able to increase the pace of your development and help reduce corruption to make you into a city you deserve to be. A city that will stand out amongst the rest as one of the best in the world. Although it looks like a distant dream at the moment can't really out rule the possibility can we?

I don't know where life will take me in the future. But be rest assured my heart will always lie in you. You can take a Bombayite out of Bombay but you can never take Bombay out of a Bombayite!
Love always