Let me begin by wishing all of you a Merry Christmas! Hope you have been successful in spreading some joy all around and that the coming New Year fulfils all your dreams,aspirations and ambitions.
So lately ad midst all the work, I've been busy attending Christmas parties,weddings..a typical December as I am sure you identify with..I can see a lot of love stories blooming all around me. A lot of new love, you know the variety that gives you shaky knees, butterflies in your tummy, straight out of romantic movies the kind that makes you feel 16 all over again. Whose love stories you may ask? Well, mostly friends, close friends who were looking to find their "Mr Right" and seemed to have found the perfect match to what they were looking for. It's nice isn't it? When someone exactly who you had imagined to be with comes right in front of you and you know he is your "Mr Right". The kind your family will be proud of, the kind that complements you, the ideal partner and the reason it never worked out with anyone else
Seems perfect doesn't it?
But sometimes I can't help but wonder what happens in a situation when you fall in love with Mr Wrong?
Firstly, who is Mr WRong? Mr Wrong is someone you never in your wildest dreams anticipated you will fall in love with. Someone who does not match your definition of your ideal match at all. Yet you find yourself deeply attracted to. Your family's worst nightmare. This obviously doesn't mean he is a horrible person. He is great, but the thought of spending your whole life with him...scary. He is financially dependent so you can forget being the trophy wife if that was your intention. A flirt, so you're never sure if you are indeed who he is attracted to. Someone with views so different from yours that you can't stop analysing as to what is wrong with you that attracts you to these bad boys. Your family will hate Mr Wrong. Your friends will think you need a doctor. But you just cant help but fall in love with him. Inspite all the negatives he will seem to fit in perfectly in your topsy turvy world. He knows when you're having a bad day and knows just how to make it all right in his weird way. He knows your flaws, he listens, guides and ensures you get over your all your fears with so much ease. He is there for you as a friend, a confidant and a guide. You will never know the real him. You can't read Mr Wrongs mind. You will never know if he is actually the person you think him to be or the person your besties have made of him. Yet admist all this chaos and confusion he seems like the only person to look out for in a crowd. What happens if Mr Wrong ends up being your Mr Right?
Sigh! Life would be such a pickle if that happened.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Twanny Savan!
It was time few weeks ago to blow the candles out from yet another cake and turn a whole year older. Well, nothing worth mentioning or very distinct happened this year. It was quite the routine except for the fact that I have 2 more grey hair now, making the grand total to 3 in all. Stress, I'm told, too much of it.
Well, coming to my day it was really special as a lot of my close friends took the effort to make me feel great and young if I may add ;)
Birthday eve was spent with close friends at 212 followed by a holiday the next day well spent with the family a few other friends and the day ended with dinner with few relatively new but very special people. Birthdays are very special to me. I treat them with great priority in my life and it doesn't necessarily mean just mine. It's just one day in the whole year that's truly yours and I would personally take that extra step to make each one of the people I feel close to feel special on that day and I'm really glad that those people did too.
I guess all this giving importance to birthdays stems down from the days when my grandfather was living. There was not single birthday spent without receiving his birthday card by post followed by a phone call sharp at 7:00am. Whenever he was in the city,a surprise gift wrapped and a cake followed by a dinner was always due. Mum seemed to have picked this habit up from him and its been tradition in our house that whenever it is a member of the family's birthday this whole ritual of singing at midnight, cake, gifts and the works have always been followed from ever since I can remember. Of course after having grown up and spending most of my birthday eves outside of home these midnight rituals have shifted to early morning ones for me.
However, these things matter lesser and lesser as you grow older I presume.At one point I wouldn't even be able to look at the face of someone who forgot to wish me on by birthday. I'm definitely over that syndrome and have been able to successfully move on with those relationships.
I guess what I'm trying to say that life is too short and special people in your life, very few. Go all out for them on their birthday and make them feel special. Trust me, you won't regret that smile on their face and especially if she's your wife, girlfriend or someone you're trying to woo you won't have to do much the rest of the year :)
Coming back to my day, leaving you with a few pictures of the delicious cakes I cut throughout the day. Great flavours some. Hazelnut, Chocolate and Raspberry with macaroons and a blueberry cheesecake. I had a fun day! After all age is just another number!
Well, coming to my day it was really special as a lot of my close friends took the effort to make me feel great and young if I may add ;)
Birthday eve was spent with close friends at 212 followed by a holiday the next day well spent with the family a few other friends and the day ended with dinner with few relatively new but very special people. Birthdays are very special to me. I treat them with great priority in my life and it doesn't necessarily mean just mine. It's just one day in the whole year that's truly yours and I would personally take that extra step to make each one of the people I feel close to feel special on that day and I'm really glad that those people did too.
I guess all this giving importance to birthdays stems down from the days when my grandfather was living. There was not single birthday spent without receiving his birthday card by post followed by a phone call sharp at 7:00am. Whenever he was in the city,a surprise gift wrapped and a cake followed by a dinner was always due. Mum seemed to have picked this habit up from him and its been tradition in our house that whenever it is a member of the family's birthday this whole ritual of singing at midnight, cake, gifts and the works have always been followed from ever since I can remember. Of course after having grown up and spending most of my birthday eves outside of home these midnight rituals have shifted to early morning ones for me.
However, these things matter lesser and lesser as you grow older I presume.At one point I wouldn't even be able to look at the face of someone who forgot to wish me on by birthday. I'm definitely over that syndrome and have been able to successfully move on with those relationships.
I guess what I'm trying to say that life is too short and special people in your life, very few. Go all out for them on their birthday and make them feel special. Trust me, you won't regret that smile on their face and especially if she's your wife, girlfriend or someone you're trying to woo you won't have to do much the rest of the year :)
Coming back to my day, leaving you with a few pictures of the delicious cakes I cut throughout the day. Great flavours some. Hazelnut, Chocolate and Raspberry with macaroons and a blueberry cheesecake. I had a fun day! After all age is just another number!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Unpredictable!
Life at its best. Things that you said never to. Will always happen. Just when you think all is well you'll be struck so hard you won't know what hit you but will always remember the magnitude with which it did. Maybe it's the pessimist in me talking.
But I look around me. 4 lives. So messed, so troubled, so directionless. Literally grown up together. Shared all their firsts. Their first shot, their first crush secrets, their happiness, their failures, their joys and their sorrows. But each stands at such a crossroad in their life at this very moment I type this blog post not knowing where to head next.
You should've seen them 11 years ago when they first met. So innocent, carefree, enjoying each moment, living each day as it came. Sure they had their share of problems then too. But they shared, discussed and finally overcame each hurdle. Of course those set of problems seem minuscule compared to what situation they are currently stuck in but they were 11 years younger too!
Today each of them stands alone trying to solve each of their issues which they obviously think much more grave than the others and although each is 11 years older they seem more helpless. That isn't supposed to happen right? What you read and hear is that as you grow older you think better, analyze better and make better decisions. Well that doesn't seem to be happening to the 4 of them.
Some found a dream job that doesn't pay while some got only stress in theirs. Some looking for love some trying to hold on to the love they found. Some miserable with their family, others refusing to move on only because they cannot think about letting go of theirs.
I don't know where life will take these 4 from the this crossroad but all I can hope is that each of them have a fantastic journey to reach their final destination. Maybe they should let loose and stop over analyzing every little detail and begin to take things as they come. They deserve all the happiness reserved for them and only wish they get it back soon. High time! With due interest since its been so long I genuinely saw either of them smile!
I am not certain if 3 out of the 4 lives I have written about feel the same way but I'll know soon. I love you all very much (you know who you are).
But I look around me. 4 lives. So messed, so troubled, so directionless. Literally grown up together. Shared all their firsts. Their first shot, their first crush secrets, their happiness, their failures, their joys and their sorrows. But each stands at such a crossroad in their life at this very moment I type this blog post not knowing where to head next.
You should've seen them 11 years ago when they first met. So innocent, carefree, enjoying each moment, living each day as it came. Sure they had their share of problems then too. But they shared, discussed and finally overcame each hurdle. Of course those set of problems seem minuscule compared to what situation they are currently stuck in but they were 11 years younger too!
Today each of them stands alone trying to solve each of their issues which they obviously think much more grave than the others and although each is 11 years older they seem more helpless. That isn't supposed to happen right? What you read and hear is that as you grow older you think better, analyze better and make better decisions. Well that doesn't seem to be happening to the 4 of them.
Some found a dream job that doesn't pay while some got only stress in theirs. Some looking for love some trying to hold on to the love they found. Some miserable with their family, others refusing to move on only because they cannot think about letting go of theirs.
I don't know where life will take these 4 from the this crossroad but all I can hope is that each of them have a fantastic journey to reach their final destination. Maybe they should let loose and stop over analyzing every little detail and begin to take things as they come. They deserve all the happiness reserved for them and only wish they get it back soon. High time! With due interest since its been so long I genuinely saw either of them smile!
I am not certain if 3 out of the 4 lives I have written about feel the same way but I'll know soon. I love you all very much (you know who you are).
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Complaints to the Cook…can be hazardous to your health!
My kitchen adventures! This shouldn't be a blogpost, it should actually be a book in itself. But before I begin, I need to clarify a few things. Firstly, I love cooking. That too complicated stuff. If you hand me a cook book, I'll make sure I choose the most complicated and difficult recipe and try my hands at it. I think subconsciously I accept it as a challenge and try to prove my best. However, the outcome of these challenges may not necessarily be in my favour. Well not always. I'm pretty good at some stuff. I can cook up a mean pasta and chocolate mousse for example.
Over the years there have been a few kitchen mishaps that I have been a part of and wanted to share some with you. I would hereby like to guarantee that each of these events however surreal they may sound, did actually take place.Before I begin let me introduce you to 3 other main characters whose name you will regularly read in this blogpost.
1) Mom/Mum- The name says it all. Big Boss. Terrific knack of judgement and cooks without measurements. Hail Hitler!
2) Rima- My zero friend. (read the post). Someone who took cooking with a vengeance after one minor mishap which you will read about and is now referred to Mrs Rima Sanjeev Kapoor.
3) Indu Bai- My stud. My Man. My bodyguard. My kitchen help, well maybe I am her kitchen help!
Incident One,Bombay
One lazy afternoon, summer of 2008 I think, I was so bored and had nothing to do. Out of the blue I decide to surprise my mum who was out by making a marshmallow and chocolate milkshake and serving it to her when she returns home. Indubai and I get to work and start making the milkshake only to realize halfway that mum hates chocolate.However, since we were almost done, we made the milkshake anyway and drank it ourselves. Take 2- We decided to go ahead and make her a banana milkshake (Cause that was the only fruit available at home) instead of the chocolate. Since we had wasted so much time drinking and perfecting our first milkshake we didn't realize that mum will be home soon. Anyway, so the milk, sugar, bananas go into the blender and suddenly the door bell rings. Indubai panics cause she knows its mum and runs like a jerk to open the door. I panic cause I need to stop her from opening the door and simultaneously finish the milkshake or the surprise will be totally ruined. The climax of all this confusion was that I started the blender in my hurry to finish the milkshake without putting the lid on!
My mum was in for a shock as against a surprise as she spent rest of the afternoon cleaning the kitchen ceiling!
Incident Two, Bombay
Very similar to incident one and a reason I stay far away from pressure cookers. It wasn't my fault really. Silly Indubai leaves daal in the pressure cooker and goes to chat with my neighbours maid. She asks me to shut the gas after 5 whistles. It was a Sunday afternoon and I'd woken up pretty early because my credit card bill had arrived the previous evening and I obviously had to behave myself for a week or so. While waiting in the kitchen for those 5 whistles, I happened to fall asleep. Obviously those 5 whistles probably became 50 whistles until I was woken up with a loud bomb blast like sound where I literally saw the lid of the pressure cooker fly right upto the ceiling and the daal fly out like a volcano's pissed off lava.
Obviously, the rest of the afternoon was like most of the others spent cleaning the kitchen ceiling. It was repainted later that month because of the yellow polka dot daal stains.
.Incident Three,Bombay
I was back from London and very upbeat about cooking delicious breakfasts every morning. Yeah, you can imagine how long that lasted! So on day one, I decided to make pancakes with maple syrup for everyone. First one, was just perfect as was the second. Suddenly I thought I was this pro chef from some Michelin star restaurant or wherever, basically the master of pancakes. I volunteered to go and make some for my neighbour who had called her cousins to watch and learn from me the great. All was well until I decided to act over smart and flip the pancake in the pan. So, I held the pan with my hand and flipped it with so much force that plop, the half cooked pancake landed on my neighbors head and the batter ran down his face. Very messy rest of the day. Chef Razzdino was history.
Incident Four, Lucknow
Ok this was years and years go when my maternal grandparents lived in Lucknow and we visited them during summer vacations. Afternoons there used to be a little dull with most of the family sleeping and I didn't have much to do. So in order to pass time, I decided to make hot and sour soup for my grandfather. Obviously, I was quite young and not allowed to go anywhere near the gas so little chef razzdino attempted soup without using the gas. Cold and sour soup in her own words :P. So I took a bowl of cold water, added half a bottle of vinegar, chilli powder (Cause I was not allowed to use a knife to cut chillies) and the works and garnished my beautiful bowl of poison with some mint leaves. Poor nana had to bear the brunt of this poisonous substance and in order to avoid hurting my feelings he had to pretend he loved it which indirectly meant he had to eat/drink at least quarter of that bowl. The doctor visited us later that night as nana felt miserably ill and little chef razzdino was history for rest of the trip.
Incident Five, Bombay
This wasn't me. This brilliant episode was successfully executed by Rima, the great. So at about 10:30 one night when my family and me were just chilling in front of the idiot box we get a phone call from Rima stating how she has made the most awesome dessert and how they were coming over immediately to share it with us. Obviously we were all waiting in anticipation when Rima arrives with this big beautiful bowl of Indian dessert all covered with a Muslin cloth looking every bit majestic. Rima serves all of us generous portions of this amazing dessert and everyone seems to be enjoying (or rather pretending to enjoy it). I take one bite and almost want to spit it out. Conversation that follows :
Razzdino- Have you put salt in this dessert instead of sugar it tastes awful!
Rima- No! You're just jealous! Everyone else seems to be loving it
Rest (Putting their bowls down)- Very Gently, Err, it is kinda salty
Razzdino- If you didn't change the sugar for salt what did you do?
Rima- Well the recipe said cream cheese, I couldn't find any, so I put cheese spread instead!
Razzdino - FACEPALM
Rima- But it was Kraft and I used very expensive other ingredients in gigantic quantities
Rimas Dad- There goes my 1K down the drain!
Post this incident Rima took to cooking with a vengeance and her book shelf at home only had Sanjeev Kapoor encyclopedias. Have to admit shes been a fantastic cook ever since.
Incident Six, Delhi
I feel awful that this happened. No really. Its not even funny at some level. When I was younger a lot of vacations were spent in Delhi as lot of my extended lived there. So one summer when mum and my relatives were out somewhere my uncle and I were chilling and watching some India versus England test match. Suddenly I decide that I need to bake muffins. My uncle being the supportive one he is was very happy and excited to try my baking adventure. Suddenly my uncles friend dropped in and I was busy in the kitchen while they were busy chatting elsewhere. So finally after a lot of hard work my muffins were ready and brought to the table. Both the uncles tried to bite into them but couldn't. My uncle stopped after a few tries but the other uncle was determined to get a bite of these rocks. Poor thing lost a tooth in trying to bite into my muffin. Still don't know what went wrong :(. He rushed to the dentist and I was deported back to Bombay the next day
Cut to present, Bombay
Fed up of constantly using recipe books Indubai and I decide to make halwa for ourselves. I mean how tough can it get right? Sugar, Rava and Ghee. We put it in the pan and cook it. As usual Mom was not at home or this incident would have never occurred. What we didn't know is that this preparation would require some amount of milk or water as well. Anyway I kept stirring still this whole lump caramelized into something so hard it wouldn't come out of the pan. Obviously freaked out we took it off the gas and tried to use a knife but the lump was so hard the knife broke! Just imagine!
I desperately started looking around for tools when i suddenly came across a hammer and screwdriver. Voila! we immediately tried using these tools to release the halwa from the pan but it was so stubborn that it just wouldn't come out.
Repeat of incident one, mom rings the door bell, we are so frightened we throw the pan into the bin, get caught and into deep trouble, hands red from. Sigh!
Few incidents apart I am not as bad a cook as maybe portrayed through this blogpost. Come over for dinner sometime. But make sure I've looked into the book and cooked :)
Over the years there have been a few kitchen mishaps that I have been a part of and wanted to share some with you. I would hereby like to guarantee that each of these events however surreal they may sound, did actually take place.Before I begin let me introduce you to 3 other main characters whose name you will regularly read in this blogpost.
1) Mom/Mum- The name says it all. Big Boss. Terrific knack of judgement and cooks without measurements. Hail Hitler!
2) Rima- My zero friend. (read the post). Someone who took cooking with a vengeance after one minor mishap which you will read about and is now referred to Mrs Rima Sanjeev Kapoor.
3) Indu Bai- My stud. My Man. My bodyguard. My kitchen help, well maybe I am her kitchen help!
Incident One,Bombay
One lazy afternoon, summer of 2008 I think, I was so bored and had nothing to do. Out of the blue I decide to surprise my mum who was out by making a marshmallow and chocolate milkshake and serving it to her when she returns home. Indubai and I get to work and start making the milkshake only to realize halfway that mum hates chocolate.However, since we were almost done, we made the milkshake anyway and drank it ourselves. Take 2- We decided to go ahead and make her a banana milkshake (Cause that was the only fruit available at home) instead of the chocolate. Since we had wasted so much time drinking and perfecting our first milkshake we didn't realize that mum will be home soon. Anyway, so the milk, sugar, bananas go into the blender and suddenly the door bell rings. Indubai panics cause she knows its mum and runs like a jerk to open the door. I panic cause I need to stop her from opening the door and simultaneously finish the milkshake or the surprise will be totally ruined. The climax of all this confusion was that I started the blender in my hurry to finish the milkshake without putting the lid on!
My mum was in for a shock as against a surprise as she spent rest of the afternoon cleaning the kitchen ceiling!
Incident Two, Bombay
Very similar to incident one and a reason I stay far away from pressure cookers. It wasn't my fault really. Silly Indubai leaves daal in the pressure cooker and goes to chat with my neighbours maid. She asks me to shut the gas after 5 whistles. It was a Sunday afternoon and I'd woken up pretty early because my credit card bill had arrived the previous evening and I obviously had to behave myself for a week or so. While waiting in the kitchen for those 5 whistles, I happened to fall asleep. Obviously those 5 whistles probably became 50 whistles until I was woken up with a loud bomb blast like sound where I literally saw the lid of the pressure cooker fly right upto the ceiling and the daal fly out like a volcano's pissed off lava.
Obviously, the rest of the afternoon was like most of the others spent cleaning the kitchen ceiling. It was repainted later that month because of the yellow polka dot daal stains.
.Incident Three,Bombay
I was back from London and very upbeat about cooking delicious breakfasts every morning. Yeah, you can imagine how long that lasted! So on day one, I decided to make pancakes with maple syrup for everyone. First one, was just perfect as was the second. Suddenly I thought I was this pro chef from some Michelin star restaurant or wherever, basically the master of pancakes. I volunteered to go and make some for my neighbour who had called her cousins to watch and learn from me the great. All was well until I decided to act over smart and flip the pancake in the pan. So, I held the pan with my hand and flipped it with so much force that plop, the half cooked pancake landed on my neighbors head and the batter ran down his face. Very messy rest of the day. Chef Razzdino was history.
Incident Four, Lucknow
Ok this was years and years go when my maternal grandparents lived in Lucknow and we visited them during summer vacations. Afternoons there used to be a little dull with most of the family sleeping and I didn't have much to do. So in order to pass time, I decided to make hot and sour soup for my grandfather. Obviously, I was quite young and not allowed to go anywhere near the gas so little chef razzdino attempted soup without using the gas. Cold and sour soup in her own words :P. So I took a bowl of cold water, added half a bottle of vinegar, chilli powder (Cause I was not allowed to use a knife to cut chillies) and the works and garnished my beautiful bowl of poison with some mint leaves. Poor nana had to bear the brunt of this poisonous substance and in order to avoid hurting my feelings he had to pretend he loved it which indirectly meant he had to eat/drink at least quarter of that bowl. The doctor visited us later that night as nana felt miserably ill and little chef razzdino was history for rest of the trip.
Incident Five, Bombay
This wasn't me. This brilliant episode was successfully executed by Rima, the great. So at about 10:30 one night when my family and me were just chilling in front of the idiot box we get a phone call from Rima stating how she has made the most awesome dessert and how they were coming over immediately to share it with us. Obviously we were all waiting in anticipation when Rima arrives with this big beautiful bowl of Indian dessert all covered with a Muslin cloth looking every bit majestic. Rima serves all of us generous portions of this amazing dessert and everyone seems to be enjoying (or rather pretending to enjoy it). I take one bite and almost want to spit it out. Conversation that follows :
Razzdino- Have you put salt in this dessert instead of sugar it tastes awful!
Rima- No! You're just jealous! Everyone else seems to be loving it
Rest (Putting their bowls down)- Very Gently, Err, it is kinda salty
Razzdino- If you didn't change the sugar for salt what did you do?
Rima- Well the recipe said cream cheese, I couldn't find any, so I put cheese spread instead!
Razzdino - FACEPALM
Rima- But it was Kraft and I used very expensive other ingredients in gigantic quantities
Rimas Dad- There goes my 1K down the drain!
Post this incident Rima took to cooking with a vengeance and her book shelf at home only had Sanjeev Kapoor encyclopedias. Have to admit shes been a fantastic cook ever since.
Incident Six, Delhi
I feel awful that this happened. No really. Its not even funny at some level. When I was younger a lot of vacations were spent in Delhi as lot of my extended lived there. So one summer when mum and my relatives were out somewhere my uncle and I were chilling and watching some India versus England test match. Suddenly I decide that I need to bake muffins. My uncle being the supportive one he is was very happy and excited to try my baking adventure. Suddenly my uncles friend dropped in and I was busy in the kitchen while they were busy chatting elsewhere. So finally after a lot of hard work my muffins were ready and brought to the table. Both the uncles tried to bite into them but couldn't. My uncle stopped after a few tries but the other uncle was determined to get a bite of these rocks. Poor thing lost a tooth in trying to bite into my muffin. Still don't know what went wrong :(. He rushed to the dentist and I was deported back to Bombay the next day
Cut to present, Bombay
Fed up of constantly using recipe books Indubai and I decide to make halwa for ourselves. I mean how tough can it get right? Sugar, Rava and Ghee. We put it in the pan and cook it. As usual Mom was not at home or this incident would have never occurred. What we didn't know is that this preparation would require some amount of milk or water as well. Anyway I kept stirring still this whole lump caramelized into something so hard it wouldn't come out of the pan. Obviously freaked out we took it off the gas and tried to use a knife but the lump was so hard the knife broke! Just imagine!
I desperately started looking around for tools when i suddenly came across a hammer and screwdriver. Voila! we immediately tried using these tools to release the halwa from the pan but it was so stubborn that it just wouldn't come out.
Repeat of incident one, mom rings the door bell, we are so frightened we throw the pan into the bin, get caught and into deep trouble, hands red from. Sigh!
Few incidents apart I am not as bad a cook as maybe portrayed through this blogpost. Come over for dinner sometime. But make sure I've looked into the book and cooked :)
Monday, July 4, 2011
Been Long
Its been so long since I last wrote. Honestly, I didn't have anything worthy to write about. Life has been pretty much the same old routine. As I flipped the calendar page today (yes, I was a little late to do so) it suddenly dawned unto me that half the year is already over and I haven't done a single thing I had planned to.
From little things like piercing my nose to some bigger changes I intended to make in 2011, I haven't even made the slightest attempt to achieve. I sometimes wonder if it is correct to get your mind so occupied with your work that even in your free time all you think about is work. There has to be a switch off button that I can use the minute I step out of my work place. My phone adds to my misery by constantly reminding me of things to do at work and sometimes I actually have to make an attempt to turn it off the entire weekend just to get my mind out of thinking about my task lists.
I need to prioritize. I need a sense of direction. Something I have to work on myself. I realize that everyday I want new things completely different from the ones I wanted the day before. I take advice from a chosen few who luckily always listen to my rants and tell me what they think is correct but ultimately it is me who has to take that decision.
Why am I so afraid to speak what I feel? Why is it that I am unable to tell someone what I really think of them? Why am I always so worried about the other persons feelings that I fail to think about myself? No one really thinks before telling me how they feel right! So why do I think things over and over again till they reach a point where it doesn't really matter cause it becomes a thing of the past. Why do I pretend to not care when I so totally do!
I wonder how my association with people other than my trusted few will continue in the coming years. I can't tell them I love them. I can't tell them I hate them. So its going to get really really difficult to start understanding me if I don't get my act together pretty soon.
Just like a perfectly organized Virgo,I think I am going to begin my writing down my wants and prioritizing them. Once I figure what I really want, at least I can begin work on the first few points.
Lately people close to me felt I was sharing too much of my real life online. Through twitter, facebook, foursquare etc. I thought about it and felt like I agree and hence I've temporarily deleted my twitter and foursquare account. Twitter was also becoming a platform for people to be experts on any subject of their choice and start giving gyan which had begun to bore me. I think I like learning from my own mistakes as against listening to lectures from a few uncalled for experts. Foursquare was actually quite fun but then again sharing some of my feeds on twitter lead to some disastrous encounters :) (Well almost). Facebook is something I haven't been able to detach myself from yet, I really seem to enjoy it so I think I'm going to stay on there for a while.
Mehra constantly talks to me about detachment. Gone in an instant, snap your fingers and its over. Not sure if I can practice with so much ease, even if I pretend to otherwise. I get emotionally attached. to things, people, places, the worst part being that the people involved have no idea and guess they never will. Sigh!
Anyway, moving to happier things looking forward to Delhi Belly this week (now that I have finally understood the lyrics to most of their songs). Spaghetti Kitchen opens its doors 5 minutes away from home. Oh the joy in little things!
From little things like piercing my nose to some bigger changes I intended to make in 2011, I haven't even made the slightest attempt to achieve. I sometimes wonder if it is correct to get your mind so occupied with your work that even in your free time all you think about is work. There has to be a switch off button that I can use the minute I step out of my work place. My phone adds to my misery by constantly reminding me of things to do at work and sometimes I actually have to make an attempt to turn it off the entire weekend just to get my mind out of thinking about my task lists.
I need to prioritize. I need a sense of direction. Something I have to work on myself. I realize that everyday I want new things completely different from the ones I wanted the day before. I take advice from a chosen few who luckily always listen to my rants and tell me what they think is correct but ultimately it is me who has to take that decision.
Why am I so afraid to speak what I feel? Why is it that I am unable to tell someone what I really think of them? Why am I always so worried about the other persons feelings that I fail to think about myself? No one really thinks before telling me how they feel right! So why do I think things over and over again till they reach a point where it doesn't really matter cause it becomes a thing of the past. Why do I pretend to not care when I so totally do!
I wonder how my association with people other than my trusted few will continue in the coming years. I can't tell them I love them. I can't tell them I hate them. So its going to get really really difficult to start understanding me if I don't get my act together pretty soon.
Just like a perfectly organized Virgo,I think I am going to begin my writing down my wants and prioritizing them. Once I figure what I really want, at least I can begin work on the first few points.
Lately people close to me felt I was sharing too much of my real life online. Through twitter, facebook, foursquare etc. I thought about it and felt like I agree and hence I've temporarily deleted my twitter and foursquare account. Twitter was also becoming a platform for people to be experts on any subject of their choice and start giving gyan which had begun to bore me. I think I like learning from my own mistakes as against listening to lectures from a few uncalled for experts. Foursquare was actually quite fun but then again sharing some of my feeds on twitter lead to some disastrous encounters :) (Well almost). Facebook is something I haven't been able to detach myself from yet, I really seem to enjoy it so I think I'm going to stay on there for a while.
Mehra constantly talks to me about detachment. Gone in an instant, snap your fingers and its over. Not sure if I can practice with so much ease, even if I pretend to otherwise. I get emotionally attached. to things, people, places, the worst part being that the people involved have no idea and guess they never will. Sigh!
Anyway, moving to happier things looking forward to Delhi Belly this week (now that I have finally understood the lyrics to most of their songs). Spaghetti Kitchen opens its doors 5 minutes away from home. Oh the joy in little things!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Its Complicated
I remember sitting on a nearly broken bench with W and talking about life 10 years ago. That's where we solved our problems. Sitting on a piece of wood, talking about a few people who weren't nice to us (in a very minuscule way), about how our hair isn't getting any longer or why X drives a swanky car where all we use are auto-rickshaws.
Although at that point in time we thought those problems were probably the biggest problems anyone faces in the universe today when we look back sitting on that same bench, all we wish for is for those micro mini problems to come back cause now we realize what problems actually mean.
Life changes..as you grow older, although you earn more than that pocket money your mum gave you and you do have the power to be much more independent that you probably were, the problems seem to increase as fast as your age.
There used to be a little person inside me, a voice that used to drive me to achieve, a sense of competition, a determination to win that has suddenly fallen asleep. These pressures, almost complacent need to prove oneself, culture, attitude of society towards certain issues, corporate life has completely lessened my urge to wanting to do anything. I wouldn't want to participate in a competition because it is probably rigged. I can't fill a corporate tender cause I know the competition has already laid hands on the client and the tender is just another eye-wash procedure.
I need to wake up. Need to get myself and my life back on track. Gather the courage to figure out what I really want to do and then actually end up doing it. I need to learn how to fight back, More importantly, speak up when the need arises and most importantly communicate! The need to show how I really feel has begun to arise.
2011 so far has been crap. For me as well as people really close to me. Hope it gets better with time. Amen!
Although at that point in time we thought those problems were probably the biggest problems anyone faces in the universe today when we look back sitting on that same bench, all we wish for is for those micro mini problems to come back cause now we realize what problems actually mean.
Life changes..as you grow older, although you earn more than that pocket money your mum gave you and you do have the power to be much more independent that you probably were, the problems seem to increase as fast as your age.
There used to be a little person inside me, a voice that used to drive me to achieve, a sense of competition, a determination to win that has suddenly fallen asleep. These pressures, almost complacent need to prove oneself, culture, attitude of society towards certain issues, corporate life has completely lessened my urge to wanting to do anything. I wouldn't want to participate in a competition because it is probably rigged. I can't fill a corporate tender cause I know the competition has already laid hands on the client and the tender is just another eye-wash procedure.
I need to wake up. Need to get myself and my life back on track. Gather the courage to figure out what I really want to do and then actually end up doing it. I need to learn how to fight back, More importantly, speak up when the need arises and most importantly communicate! The need to show how I really feel has begun to arise.
2011 so far has been crap. For me as well as people really close to me. Hope it gets better with time. Amen!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Dear Husband to be
These days I am facing a lot of flak and pressure all thanks to you. Mother, Grand-mothers, Aunties, Cousins, Friends all seem to use their full energy in trying to look for you. Me? Well, trust me when I say I'm in no hurry to find you and you can take all the time in the world to find me. Also, even if you do end up finding me, let me tell you about certain things about me which may want you to rethink your decision. I've done my 2 cents in warning you, can't blame me later!
Barring the above, I think we should pretty much be alright otherwise. Oh yeah! Brush up your cooking skills. I could use some tips! oooh sorry if I'm being slightly demanding but I hope you can sing or play the guitar!
Best Regards
Me!
PS: Please don't judge me on basis of this post nosey aunties. Its all in light humour!
- Not being unreasonable here nor am I trying to be flaky but I hope you are at least average in the looks department. Sigh! having said that if looks is the only department you fail in, I'll compromise but the least you can do is be tall. At least I don't have to throw away my high heels then
- I spend more than I earn, so I hope you make enough for both of us
- I'd appreciate if you punch someone in the face for acting smart with me as against running away from the scene although I may pretend I love non violence. And pleaseeee, I cry enough for the whole nation so avoid tears until really really necessary
- Even though opposites generally attract I hope we share at least few similar interests (Travel, music,books, writing,guitars,beers,Shahrukh,Ganguly,Torres,Sampras, etc)
- I hate flowers,stuffed toys cats, loud people, fast cars,bad manners and liars.Avoid these gifts,keep these topics off conversation and such behaviour at bay.
- Being Kashmiri is not equal to being Punjabi. Get the difference!
- Expecting me to turn vegetarian would kind of be equivalent to asking me to wear a "I love Delhi" t-shirt. Err, impossible.
- Just fyi, I may come across like a really modern person who is cool with almost anything you do, I won't be. I will get pretty possessive and orthodox when it comes to you
- I like surprises. Be nice sometimes. It will help. Really. I am quite the emotional fool
- Vacations are as important as working. I hope they will also be on your list of priorites
- Rima will always be my first husband <3. (Sponsored bullet)
- I've already named the kids since I was 16. Saves you some work and also accquaints you with my Virgo advance and meticulous planning syndrome
- I am clumsy, so get all your prized possessions insured. Also blind, so don't take it personally if we meet accidentally and I fail to recognize you. In all probability I haven't seen you only
- Your dowry will only include Indu bai. She also serves as a loud speaker whenever required and will quite literally hunt you down and kick your ass if you bother me
- I will not share my Jet Privilege miles with you :P.I have tolerated a lot too many turbulent flights, naughty children,slimy men and irritating aunties to earn these free tickets and by the way, you know the movies where you always find a hot man/woman come sit next to you on the plane. Just a myth!!
- I have lots more to add but pressed for time right now. Maybe I'll continue this post on a day when work is lighter
Barring the above, I think we should pretty much be alright otherwise. Oh yeah! Brush up your cooking skills. I could use some tips! oooh sorry if I'm being slightly demanding but I hope you can sing or play the guitar!
Best Regards
Me!
PS: Please don't judge me on basis of this post nosey aunties. Its all in light humour!
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