Not your unpaid therapist

I hate starting every blogpost acknowledging that its been so long since I wrote the last one but particularly when you live in a fast pace city like Bombay, so much of you is consumed in mostly just about surviving it really becomes hard to actually find time you do something that you really enjoy, like for me, is writing, or updating this blog for me to read when I have retired and have nothing much to do

Work has taken over most of my life these days and I don't really know what all I have gained other than weight in the past 6 months because I have mostly spent my time as I mentioned earlier, surviving. Travel has been constant, but you know that's not really something I complain about. I did take the time out for 2 quick leisure trips, one to Goa for Holi which was hot but super relaxing and to Panchgani and Mahableshwar where I revisited my mum's childhood. It's crazy as to how when you are young you actually detest these experiences but once you are older you crave, nostalgia and memories. I'll post a few pictures at the bottom of this post from these trips. I also made a quick dash to Lonavala to celebrate W's 39th birthday. Truly when you hangout with your oldest friends, the feeling is incomparable to no other.

By the way, Bandra cafe scene has just been buzzing like crazy. Visited this place called August Moon few days ago, lovely, small cafe and such spectacular food. Sometimes I forget how much I like going and checking new places out. Lately have been in a recluse sort of phase, but hope to get my social butterfly phase back very soon. I will be headed to Bengaluru, Gurgaon, Jaipur, Pune, Ahmedabad and Chandigarh in the next few months and hope to try out some local experiences there as well of course keeping my diet in check sadly.

I was just thinking how without blinking an eye-lid most of 2023 is almost over.. While I hope to spend the rest of the year indulging in some self-care, not just physically but also mentally, I realized most of time goes in counseling others, the best part being, I don't even think they want my advice haha . Look, from the very beginning, I have been that person who people come to when they are sad. They tell me about their inner dark secrets, frivolous problems and various other issues and honestly, I always am really good with keeping all this information within me and offering advice whether they have asked for it or not. At the end of these exercises, they feel extremely light having downloaded all their issues on me. Me, on the other hand who is already dealing with a lot of my own issues (I am not really big on sharing as I usually dislike looking like a victim) is now burdened with their problems as well. 

So basically, I am here offering therapy like an unqualified expert even when not asked for and without having no sense of balance in my own life :). And most of these people anyway are way more successful in life than me so really not sure what I can add to their life anyway. Hence, slowly but surely, I will work on being just a little bit selfish and concentrating on my self because that's an area I neglect the most and work towards at least being capable enough to be someone's unpaid therapist. And like my friend always tells me. Don't give advice until someone asks you for it. Well, I am going to try

Another area of my life that really needs work, is giving benefit of doubt to people especially that belong to the opposite sex. Funnily enough, my observation tells me that I am very very soft in my behaviour towards men (not necessarily romantic interests) due to which I am often taken for granted or even treated as a pushover, which I will definitely not want to be. Friendship is about effort. Give and take. And sometimes, be being me, I only want to give until i am completely depleted of everything including self respect. So henceforth, I will only have to offer what you are able to give me. For both sexes, all relationships in my life. This is going to be a mammoth task for me because being a Virgo, service is inherent in my nature and nothing makes me more happy than doing something that makes someone else happy. Which I will continue to do, only not at the cost of my happiness.

As I turn closer to the big 40 in 2024, I hope I am able to focus this year of my life working on bringing a balance back into my life. Something that I lost a few years ago. Something that I will have to work very hard to achieve. But what's life without some kickass goals right ? :)

Hope to be able to write more sooner than later! Take care.

 

 Pictures- 1st row- Panchgani, 2nd row- Lonavala, 3rd row- Goa

 

 

 

Work in Progress Always

 It's become some what a norm for me to begin any post with "It's been a while" but going by my regularity (well lack of it) on this blog there seems to be no better opening line to start with.

Well what happened since April? I went back to Australia after 3 years! It honestly felt lovely but after I have come back, things spiralled down very quickly for reasons best known to me for now. Anyway, in September I did manage a quick trip to Kashmir which is always so lovely. You know, without a bias I have to say some of the best people with the best hearts live in Kashmir, at least going by my experience. I met a French lady who is married to Kashmiri man and lives in a village near Sonmarg, runs a home stay for past 22 years. It was so refreshing to meet her, learn from her about how to live with what you have happily and it honestly makes you think how little you really need in life to be really happy.

I have always been of the belief and lately even more so that people living in the city like us, are always chasing. Sometimes, I feel we don't even know what we are chasing but we are just running that rat race because there's no other way we know. And then even when you do achieve what you think you wanted it doesn't really give you that happiness from within that you hoped you would get. I don't know maybe its just me but to me true content is a life with equal balance of work and pleasure. EQUAL. and pleasure includes a lot of quality time with people you love creating memories of experiences and not things that you own. Makes sense?

Over these past few months there is also something new I learnt about myself. Apparently, I fear a lot. I am very scared and come across as very timid which often causes people to walk all over me and often I come across as someone who is not very sure of themselves. Even though this is an inaccurate judgement of my personality, professionally I have had to face quite a few set backs lately. I suppose in today's world where everyone is out there yelling their mediocre selves on social media and so busy selling themselves there is often not too many space left for the quieter ones who are listening more than they are talking and offering more quality over just pure nonsense. I think it is also important to realise that the world is made up of different personality types and if one person does not match yours does not mean that they are imperfect or need improvement. We are all work in progress after all

I head out for a 7 day, 7 city work trip next week, its going to be super duper hectic. This December does not feel like the usual ones where social life used to take over from everyone visiting from all over the globe. To be honest, I am done with 2022 and I have no hopes from 2023 either. 

If I don't see you before that, wishing you all A Merry Christmas a A Happy 2023. Thank you for still continuing to read my blog :)

PS: My wish for 2023, if I can be super honest would be to find my true love :) But we know how that's been going hahaha 

Cheers!  

Just popping in..

A little late in the day I know, well 4 months is not really a little late but as I’ve said before I can’t really get myself to write unless I really really want to. One of the main reasons amongst many others that I couldn’t pick it as a career option. Firstly I am typing this post out from my phone in an awkward lying down position so please excuse any typos and grammatical errors.

I have two drafts here which I think is too late to complete now, one about my holiday in December 2021 to Mashobara, Chail and Solan which was just so magical. If like me you are just looking to chill and do nothing I highly recommend the ITC property in Chail. Beautiful, relaxing and the perfect place to lounge and do nothing. I didn’t realise how much I needed a break until I took that one

Then again I am super late but if anyone still reads this blog let me take a moment to wish you a belated but a Happy 2022. May this year be happy, healthy and full of travel for all of us. Speaking of travel I am finally going back to Sydney after 2.5 years which is just insane. A little nervous, a little skeptical but also a little excited to begin long haul travel again 

Life has been really hectic. I am currently working 2 full time jobs which really gives me time for nothing else outside of it. 

Last weekend I visited a drive in theatre for the first time to watch a movie. It is on the rooftop of a mall that is actually attached to my office building. The experience was good fun but the sound quality is not that great. Let me try and add a picture or two towards the end if possible 

I am also quite bored of being single now. It’s been a while and I think I should now actively seek something new. I tried downloading a few dating apps but it’s so boring and so repetitive and literally everyone out there is married which is why I deleted all of them 

Other than that there is nothing that I can remember that I need to update right now so signing off and hopefully will come back with some exciting stuff as against these dull updates soon

Adios 

3:11

 I will never forget this date. 3/11/2016, 3/11/2019 and 3/11/2021. In the future this will either turn out to be the best date of my life or the worst. I hope and pray that it is the former. Let’s wait and watch… only time will reveal all. 

Movember

 Welcome to no shave November where our eyes will be sore looking at men (some trying) to grow their moustaches but all for a good cause so I am not really complaining. I am not really someone who likes men with facial hair but just one tip if you do decide to grow a beard at least groom it. Have you seen the way men come to work in these big American companies like Google, Facebook etc? I am all in for casual work wear but don't come to work in your PJ's at least! On that note, men in uniform or suits, Muah! so hot. 

So hopefully my blog posts will have less typos now that I have cut my nails. I had grown my finger nails out so long but I didn't have the heart to cut them. In this world of extensions name one  person who would voluntarily cut her nails but sadly I had to do that cause I could literally not work effectively with long nails. How does Kylie Jenner manage working with those nails, I'll never know.

It's been over a month since I quit social media and to be honest I haven't missed it one single day. I think sometimes it really helps not constantly knowing about what people are upto and sort of living in your own cocoon. Of course drama finds me wherever I go but at least I can save myself from some of it. If you know me I love obsessing about stuff.  Of course, in phases. Sometimes its baking, sometimes its running so on and so forth. However, one of my constant obsessions is cleaning. I love cleaning. I don't know if I have OCD but I love tidying up and during Diwali the inner Marie Kondo in me comes alive.

So last weekend, I cleaned up my cosmetic cupboard and my PJ's cupboard (yes I am obsessed with PJ's too so much that they need to have their own space). This time I have folded all my PJ's Marie Kondo style. For my main wardrobe which I still have to clean I have also ordered the drawers, separators etc as advised by her and I am so looking forward to that whole experience. Marie Kondo is like my Guru. She is such a mood. I love her. Sharing some before and after pictures. Do let me know what you think

Life is so much better without clutter. I am such a hoarder, I love every memory associated with everything I buy or I am gifted and it becomes so difficult for me to part with things. The pandemic did teach me a lot about how little we actually need in life to be happy and with that and of course Marie, I hope to continue to lead this clutter free life as long as I can. Btw while cleaning my drawers I realised how obsessed I am with make up brushes (for someone who never wears makeup) and hoop earnings. Just look! I think I am going to write my next blog post with things that I am obsessed with considering HOW many times I have used that word in this post!

Yesterday was my love SRK's birthday and how can I write a blogpost in November without wishing him the best of everything. Because of my time off Instagram, I started spending quite some time on Youtube and through that channel I discovered my love for Cristiano Ronaldo. Better late than ever I guess. I have enjoyed football in the past but mostly on World Cup level. Now a days I watch all his old games, interviews and I have literally fallen in love with him. His hard work, dedication together with his aggression and competitive spirit has made me a complete CR7 fan girl. Our Indian cricketers and Bollywood personalities should learn from these football stars. The fandom that our celebrities have to deal with is nothing compared to what CR7 has. Yet to see him so humble with his fans is such a joy to watch. Eagerly waiting to learn more about him as time passes.

It is Diwali tomorrow and I am really hoping to enjoy this time off as life has been so busy. PP is here from Delhi so obviously exploring the F&B scene in Bombay and outside of Bombay is high on the agenda. Hope we do get to execute our travel plans this time at least. I took PP to Saltt in Karjat sometime ago. It is such a lovely place with the best ambience and I really can't wait to experience it in the little winter that we have. It will be like a whole other mood. Leaving you with a picture of the cutest popcorn whiskey cocktail I had there! Happy Diwali to you all. Thank you for reading my blog if you do. If I know you or not, I really do appreciate it. 

Turning 37

 Oh my God! How old does that sound? I literally never imagined being 37. Honestly, I don't feel a day older than 21 and I highly doubt I look that old either (until someone calls me aunty and then I suddenly feel like a 100 haha). I may act dramatic at times just for effect but age has never affected me really and I hardly ever think about turning a certain age. I've always lived my life on my own terms and never pressurized myself to do anything including get married only because I was turning a certain year old. 

Anyway, it was really nice to be able to meet people this year in person and actually step out and do things as against last year where I literally waved to friends only from my window and was so exhausted sanitizing every cake or gift that I received. My best friends as usual (the sneaky creative geniuses) brought out their best work to surprise me in various ways throughout the week. I was actually supposed to be in Leh for my birthday but that fizzled out at the last moment. This is literally my 4th cancellation to a Leh holiday and now I have promised myself to not make an active plan to visit. When it happens, if it happens, it will. A similar thing had happened to me in the past while booking a trip to Amritsar. So many cancellations ( and I am suddenly reminded that I still have to pay my friend for the Delhi-Amritsar train tickets from 7 years ago haha) but then when I stopped trying I actually visited twice in a year. I guess there is a time and place for everything so I am just going to wait for Leh to call me :)

I think one of my most favourite things about life is birthday cake. It could be anybody's. I remember once we were at Big Nasty (Bombay people will identify) and a girl walked in celebrating her bachelorette and her cake looked so good that all of us joined her celebrations just to eat that chocolate cake. This year a lot of effort was put into my cakes, I think I had mentioned once how good a pistachio and chocolate cake would taste and my friend baked me a 4 KG cake with which we fed the whole community I think haha. I also always wanted to try the naked chocolate cake from Tiernom, a patisserie that literally refuses delivery so another friend actually travelled all the way  to bring me that cake and oh my God I cannot even describe how yummy it was. Of course my Mom knows the way to my heart is always mint, so she got me the most amazing mint and chocolate cake ever! I'll add some pictures to this post later. Of course I am still burning all those cake calories even a month later! 

Anyway all the yumminess aside 37 also switched a button inside me. All my life I have always found my happiness in doing things for others. Not telling them if I am upset with them, not telling them if I love them, always being their punching bag and most often finding my joy while being useful to someone else. I don't want to do that any more and I have been consciously trying my best not to do so. I used to hang onto relationships (not necessarily only love) for eons until they literally had nothing left in them but after some effort I have cut off all these unnecessary strings out of my life. I don't know if that makes me happier because I am so used to constantly planning something for someone but I do feel like I am thinking way more clearly. 

37 is going to be where I finally lay focus on me. My joy, my happiness, my purpose, my struggles and so on and so forth. Selfish you say? High time I think!

Body Shaming

I am unsure if I am extra sensitive towards this topic having gone through it myself but I cannot help but feel a sense of intense rage each time someone dismisses a person just because they are "fat". Fatty, moti, haathi, chubby, hippo words that we use as a joke to name other people can often scar them for life and we don't even realize that. Forget fat, people often assume that telling someone they have lost weight is a compliment! 

Lets get some basics right. Someone else's body, is none of your business. Whether they have gained weight, lost weight or remained the same is none of your business. You have lost weight is not a compliment. If you want to compliment someone talk to them about their talents, achievements, compliment them as a whole person and not based on their body because again, their physical up keep is NONE of your business

It annoys me to see mothers of brides asking their daughters to go on a diet just before their wedding because they have to look their best. Firstly, why does only the bride have to look her best whereas the groom can come to the same wedding with a beer belly and all we will say that "khaate peete ghar ka hai". Secondly, for those wedding albums which you will never see post your wedding was that torture really necessary? I have seen brides faint at the alter because they haven't eaten for days before their big day just to fit into their clothes. If you really want to see a bride happy make sure she is marrying for the right reasons and then watch her glow

Is that how shallow we have become as a society? Especially in India.  Look I am not against fitness. I believe that it is very important for a person to be fit, healthy and look after themselves. All I am against is for us as strangers to take onus for this task. When I went on a super unhealthy diet and completely lost sight of my health in 2019 my friends immediately called me on it but in private. They did not tarnish my entire image in public and with correct measures I was able to bounce back. Of course like most of us I am still a work in progress 

I have seen girls of all ages, sizes, marital statuses over the past 37 years in life. Not all of them are strong enough to fight these insecurities they have thanks to all these words used to call them out so casually. Even the strongest and hottest of women are constantly staring at their (invisible) cellulite in the mirror in their darkest of times. Sometimes, losing weight can be a sign of depression, anxiety or even anorexia and you haven't the slightest clue because you are probably judging that poor girl based on her so called glamorous life on social media (again a farce)

All I am saying is that a little sensitivity goes a long way. Think before you speak. Think before you think you are complimenting someone and judge people less. You have no idea how one tiny word you speak can ruin someone's image of themselves for life